Happy 6th day of the 6th month! Too bad it wasn’t 2006… but still, one of my favorite days 🙂
6 differences I was thinking at first… there will be more: blood, zombies, metal music, skulls, frankenstein, and cannibalism (obviously)… but that’s probably just me… So, with no further adieu…
Maul E. Mayhem #666’s 6 reasons marrying a derby girl might be a little bit different….
1.) When the topic of marriage comes up, people will come out of the woodwork with unsolicited advice… many will warn you not to ‘rush in to things’ or ask how well you really know each other. Marrying a derby girl, all I’d ask is… have you smelt her gear before?! Haha. Maul E. says, “To love, is human; to love her stinky gear and all, is divine”. So, “For better or worse, in sweet aroma or sweaty wrist guard stank… till death do you part” 😉
2.) Apparently some brides-to-be prep for their weddings by dieting, working out more, or something extreme. I think of this, as I sit down to my “insanity burger” (the buns are grilled cheese sandwiches) and glass of beer. Your derby baby is already derby-licious, right!? So the only prep you guys may be worried about is that she can walk in her shoes (unless she’s skating down the aisle… awesome!?). Another thing on “prep”… unless you are prepared for the possibility of looking like a battered wife or to limp down the aisle… perhaps taking it easy a week or so before the wedding actually may be a good idea… Blasphemy I know! I’m not saying not to derby… I will be attending practice TONITE, 3 days left to my wedding day,… I’m just saying.. lay off the full contact just before.. this was something I’m glad my fiancé brought up actually… haha, and I’m glad.
3.) At ‘normal’ weddings, I’ve seen the most passive of guests morph into savage warriors during the bouquet toss. Personally, I’m thinking at my wedding the dance floor will be the battle field. *Booty Block – Booty Block – Hip check – Hip check- Hip check– Sprinkler!* Either way, please look out… whether it’s my 80 year old grandma (she looks innocent enough) or my NWO Roller Girls… keep your head up!
4.) When checking out venues, instead of noticing the ornate moldings or high ceilings your derby bride to be is checking out the very skate worthy floor and wondering if anyone will notice (or care) if her and a few fellow derby attendees skate around a bit at the reception.
5.) Some people may marry someone who has been previously married. But if she’s a derby girl, know that she may STILL BE married!! (To her derby wife of course). Then there’s the proverbial marriage to roller derby itself, her team/league, etc. I won’t say that marrying a derby girl is marrying her team too, but her team is like a family so just know that – though, if it has come to tying the knot I’m sure that’s already known.
6.) Hmmm… one more reason why marrying a derby girl may be different? Well if she’s as passionate and dedicated about you as she is about her sport – you’re in luck! If she pours her heart and soul and leaves her guts on the metaphorical banked-track of your relationship than you know she’s giving you her all. If you are a good team mate in matrimony, than she will have your back for ever. And well, if that’s too sappy… than you can suck it, and I will gladly eat your face ! Haha.
<– the insanity burger and warm gravy!! Mmmmm! >_<
maulemayhem666 